Relax into Now

Relaxing into "now" is something that I must remind myself to do numerous times a day.  I find my brain having its own agenda.  It wants to spin one story after another.  My thoughts can start creating stories, concerns, worries and "what ifs" out of no where.  I have learned that once this web of thought begins, I am in store for a ride that rocks my boat so hard that I am knocked out of the boat and floundering on dry land.  This floundering is oh so unpleasant and assaultive. It happens with happy memories and thoughts as well as with unpleasant memories and thoughts. Pleasant memories and thoughts are of course is more desirable, but both are exhaustive. When I look back over the past years of my life, my thoughts have always been very active and imaginative.  In some ways this very vivid play of thoughts is fascinating.   However, these thoughts can get out of hand and lead me down a spiraling rabbit hole that doesn't lead to the lovely world of Alice in Wonderland.  My brain has a mind of its own.  I have always been a person that thinks a lot.  Since these lesions attacked my brain from the MS and all that they do to my central nervous system, the thoughts that churn up all by themselves leaves me drained, stressed and miserable.  Thank God I have a strong faith.  This faith in knowing that God loves me and has my best interest at heart is a mainstay in my coping and working with this unwanted thought train.  I have learned to tap into the Lord's guidance in being open with how to deal with all this.  That has meant being a person that seeks the knowledge of what to do to make this situation better.  For me the solution has been actively training my brain to do something else.  It is just like training a dog, daily consistently with repetition.  I know, I know, but that's so much work.  Yes, it is!  But there really is no other alternative to finding peace in the midst of swirling unwanted unhealthy thoughts.  So what do I do?  I fill my brain with "good stuff."   What do I mean "good stuff?"  First, I have a prayer life that is steady and flows freely every day.  This keeps my brain from going places I do not want it to go, and I am helping others by loving and fighting for them in prayer.   I have no power.  I am human being without control of so many things.  Sure, I can  take action and do things that makes a difference in others lives, and I certainly do this as God leads
me in ways that I can.  This in of itself gets me out of my head and focused on others' and their needs.  Second, I have learned to do some actions that help my brain calm down: Positive affirmations, Yoga Poses and Flows,  Yoga Nidra/Progressive Muscular Relaxation, Pranayama (deep breathing practices) and Meditation. These actions always help me!